


fall

by LocalArsonisst



Series: Erinverse [4]
Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: ADAM can die, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boy Love, Boys In Love, Comforting Boyfriends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hasegawa Langa is Bad at Feelings, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Langa - Freeform, M/M, Manga & Anime, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Hasegawa Langa, Proud Kyan Reki, Reki is An Angel Boy, Reki is Angel Boy, Reki is Struggling, Reki-Centric, Sk8 the Infinity - Freeform, Skateboarding, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, reki - Freeform, renga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalArsonisst/pseuds/LocalArsonisst
Summary: The fall from grace was not to be taken lightly, for Reki Kyan knows this all too well. He has to live with the fall everyday.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, Renga - Relationship
Series: Erinverse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192979
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	fall

* * *

_For he must know in life falling is more common than standing_

* * *

So many have said before the most broken people have the biggest smiles. I never knew what they meant until I was four years old. That's when the world changed. My mom got pregnant but she wasn't pregnant with my dad's baby. My dad was pissed and beat my mom with whatever he could find as I cried in the other room. My mom is a kind person and for I know now was staying with father for me. She had lost the baby a week later from blunt force trauma. I remember seeing her crumpled up in the bathroom as she bled alone. 

At four years old was when I decided my dad will never hurt my mom again.

So when my mom got pregnant again, a few months later I jumped in front of my dad's wrath and for a moment I thought we were safe. Instead he beat me until my back was bruised and bleeding the color of my hair.

After that moment my dad never touched my mom, he forced everything he ever hated on me. Once the triplets were born my mom and them ran away to my grandmas in Okinawa. She told me she'll come back for me when she has enough money.

It took her two years to save enough money for me to escape. My dad stole all the money I worked for so I turned to hoping my mom could collect enough to get me out of there. I know people think she was evil for leaving me behind. But how would someone be able to carry three newborns and all of her belongs along with a barely five year old. _It was years later when we lived together I saw the pain in her eyes when she looked at me, I know she was pained for needing to leave me behind but I know it had to be done._

The day I escaped I went through the back window, all my stuff in two trashbags. My mom was using a runner between us, one of my teachers my mom knew from university, she told me where I'm meeting my uncle to get me out of there. So in the middle of a cold winter night wearing only shorts I ran to the meeting spot. A mile from the house I lived in far enough that if we made noise it wouldn't alert my father.

My uncle was there waiting for me when I arrived. It was liberating. My feet bled as freely as my open wounds on my back bled but I was finally free. When I was in reach of the car I fell, my knees buckled and I laid there for a minute until my uncle carried me to his car.

Life in Okinawa was better, I made new friends and one of them got me into skateboarding. It's so freeing! My hands were scabbed up from learning new tricks but I was still doing what I do! My dad hasn't found us and my back has finally healed. When I got here the doctor said the malnourishment from my early ages of life will stunt my growth. I was fine with that; who needs to be a giraffe anyways!

Three years went by, until I got the call that my best friend was in the hospital and could not move his legs anymore. The man who got me into skateboarding can’t even board anymore. The idea pains my existence. It’s all my fault. If I was with him that day he went to ‘S’ and challenged one of the teenagers, I could have talked him out of it. 

From that day on I decided to never let anyone close to me. I’m a walking back luck charm. It didn’t mean I didn’t have friends. It just meant they were just friends, never anything meaningful. Sometimes I’d go up to the high school to eat lunch.

It was always funny to watch the upperclassmen bicker. There's these two skaters who I know go here and they butt heads all the time it’s pretty fun to watch. But when lunch is over I grab my skateboard and head back to the middle school where I usually roll up fashionably late to period 6 class.

That was my routine until high school, there were no interesting skater bickers they headed off the university. All the cliques and clicks from middle school were still there. There was me. If you ask anyone about me they’d say I’m loud and passionate about skateboarding and always has a smile on their face.

It was pretty entertaining to play the character they want me to play. I knew from when I was in middle school I wasn’t attracted to girls. I tried dating guys but they turned out to not like me and then I got to the point in which I didn’t care anymore. No guy caught my eye. On the contrary no boy could stand being around me, they tell me I talk about my hobbies too much. Like what else are you meant to talk about?

Giving up on that for the first year of high school I was already working a job, helping mom with the girls. Designing skateboards and skating. There were too many other things more important than men.

We have a house how it took us years of saving up but we have a house to call our own. Dad was arrested last year for armed robbery. As long as he keeps away from my family I am fine with him being alive.

* * *

_When people look at the young boy's face, behind that smile they see a boy who grew up too fast._

* * *

That was until one day I met him. A new transfer student from America! He comes from Canada which must be a lot colder than here. His name is Langa and he's super cool. He actually wants to hear me talk! He wants to learn more about me! _For I hadn’t realized but I was falling for him._

We would spend hours and hours just talking and talking because he had got me. I introduced him to the world of skateboarding and he introduced me to a decent man. 

My favorite moments we spent in that time was when we’d sit in my bed in silence and enjoy eachothers company. I know he doesn’t like me and I know he’s straight but sometimes it hurts so much to think about him getting married to a girl and me being right here; WAITING!

When I saw him skate against Shadow I fell in love with the fluidity of his movements. He moved as if he was a snowflake in a snowstorm. Delicately flowing with the wind on its return to the earth. He was amazing.

I was never going to be good as him, and I know that. When Miya challenged him I knew others will soon follow. He will leave like they all do and then it’d be back to the Reki show. I used my entire paycheck to make him a board that would fit him perfectly to race against Miya. 

I didn’t sleep or eat for 3 days working night after night on his board after he left. It was going to be a surprise for him to see what I did. But soon the sleepless nights became wakeless nightmares. Flashbacks of seeing him in the hospital, flashbacks of my dad, flashbacks of pain.

Just pain. I was in constant pain and nobody understood me. Langa is probably using me like they all do. I sat in my shed in the corner. If nobody was around I was safe. I was safe, nobody is going to hurt me. I remind myself no matter how many times I say it I cannot calm down.

I passed out from the panic attack and only awoke when Mom got the call from school I wasn’t there. She doesn’t force me to go. She knows I need to be alone away from people. She has moments like these too. Sometimes she brings the knife into my room when she thinks I’m him. I have his smile, she says. So I don’t smile at her. She needs to be strong for the girls. So do I.

She goes back into the house bringing me my meds, blanket and pillow. “We need to really redo this shed to have your room added” she tells me. A quick kiss to my forehead and she's gone. I was finished with Langa’s board so I was going to sleep the rest of the day.

When I opened my eyes I saw Langa outside my shed. I threw the blanket on the board and went to the door. “Are you sick?” he asked. “No I just didn't feel like going” I stuck my tongue out at him. He seems to not believe me but I walk out past him. A wave of vertigo hitting but I ignored the fact I couldn’t see or walk straight. 

We head to work because I cannot afford to not get paid. Langa doesn’t know my past nor does he ask. We just talk about other stuff that seems so important but not about ourselves. I talk about the girls and he talks about his mom.

I work, clean up and close the shop before we parted ways to meet at S. I told him I’d bring his board. So I could surprise him!

I grabbed his board and began the run to S. No matter how early I left the race was about to start when I got there. Handing him the board with a smile.

Miya wagers me as the prize. I don’t want to lose Langa. I don’t want him to go? The compression in my chest caused by fear expanded. And so they raced.

It was like watching a bird and a cat race, one was delicate and free and the other one held down by the earth.

Langa won. I didn’t lose him. But instead we gained a new friend. I gained a new little brother who I will protect. So when I saw him fearful and in pain from ADAM’s words I had to protect him.

So I challenged him to a BEEF with the intent for him to apologize to Miya. The week leading up to the beef I ran out of my meds.

I wasn’t going to concern my mom to go get new ones so I was letting the flashbacks run wild. Some days it was the flashbacks of my mom holding a knife to my throat before she snapped out of it, some days it was the hands of my dad holding me down as he burned my skin. Some days it was the days of the beatings and I couldn’t escape even sleeping.

* * *

_“Why do caged birds still sing?” He asks. With no response he realized._

* * *

I trained and trained but it must seem on the outside I didn’t do much. I couldn’t tell what was real anymore so It could have been me in my brain. 

So the day of the race. The day of the fall. The day I realized Miya and Langa will never be impressed like me. Was a normal day to begin.

Was not a normal day to end. ADAM started over 10 seconds later than me and caught up.

He seemed to know my weakness’ and exploited it, pulling me in managing to trigger an episode while he was holding me around a corner. Building the cage around me and I slugged behind.

I had nothing left to do. There was no reason for me to continue. Until I heard him, I remembered I am not only doing this Miya I’m doing this for Langa.

I caught up to ADAM in which a split second he seemed surprised until he sped up and turned.

The fear as the face of him flashed to my fathers and I couldn’t escape.

I was thrown. 50 feet landing on my arm and crushing 5 bones in my spine, along with a concussion.

I couldn’t feel my legs as I laid there. Noise was around me but my brain couldn't make it out. All it could tell was there was blue hair in front of me. “I..m.. sor..ry…. I .. los..t” I mumbled out before falling out of consciousness.

My eyes opened when I was sitting in a white hospital bed. Shooting up I see my mom sitting there with the triplets signing with tears down her face. Panic is expressed on her face. I do not know why but seeing my mom like that fears me. 

“What happened?” I ask.T Trying to stand up to go to my mom but realizing I cannot move my legs. “They said it’s curable.” She says and panic drops to my stomach. “wha- “ What does she mean? “You broke 5 bones in your spine luckily scar tissue from …. Him… protected it so it happened to not damage the spinal cord that much. You have a much higher chance of being able to walk and feel your legs again.” she tells me. My head starts throbbing and I lay down.

I am so useless now. I can’t even skate. I should disappear.

I close my eyes as my heart rate races and I begin to start shaking. I could hear loud screams and beeps and when my eyes opened again my family wasn’t in the room instead surrounded by men in white coats.

Men. I try to move my body away from them, screaming bloody murder. I don’t want them here. My mom runs in trying to calm me down, but my screams only got louder the longer I was there. I then felt relaxed and closed my eyes, accepting the darkness. They sedated me.

I was in the hospital a week, and not once did Langa visit me. I disappointed him. I’m such an idiot for thinking I was good enough for him. So once I arrived home, I stopped eating, I started taking double the meds I was meant to. I wanted to die. 

I had no use left in this world, I was born out of hate. I grew up to protect my mom who hates me from time to time. If I did not exist then nobody would have gotten hurt. If I did not exist the world would be able to go on and everyone else would be okay.

I climb into the wheelchair, my legs are slowly coming back to feeling. I grab my backpack, filling it with cigarettes, alcohol and any sort of pill I could find. Grabbing a pencil and paper I bring myself to look up on Google Translate how to say I’m sorry I love you in English. Knowing that I hope the only person who reads it is Langa if he still cares for me.

I wheeled myself to the skatepark and threw myself off the chair pushing it down the hill. I wasn’t going to need that anymore. I laid against the wooden ramp swallowing pills using the alcohol to bring it down my throat, the burn made me feel alive for the last time. I lit a cigarette inhaling the smoke. I never knew why people liked these things so much, but I guess I’ll find out when I go to the afterlife.

The moon is still at its peak when my eyes begin to close. It was the end but I had to make sure it was really it. All the leftover pills I scrambled to swallow them all before dropping the bottle. I smile. I’m going to be free. Maybe in the next life Langa will be proud of me.

I let the tiredness come over me.

But for some reason my eyes opened again. In a white room, my arms were handcuffed to the bed. It’s a way to prevent me from harming myself I come to find out. I am not dead. Why am I not dead?

“Mister Kyan. Do you know why you’re here.” a woman's voice asked, “because I am dead and now in limbo waiting for the afterlife.” I mumble out. “No you were found half dead two nights ago and we flushed your stomach.” she says harshly. “Oh.” I guess I failed, another time in my life that I didn't succeed. 

The door then swung open and incomes Miya and my mother sobbing. I stay quiet as my mom sobs and asks me why. _Doesn’t she know why? She’d be free without me._ Miya just looked at me and crawled onto the bed cuddling me. My body felt warm for once, just another human touch, I craved it. It's been so long. I cried. They all cried.

Langa walks into the room. I haven’t seen him in a while. “IDIOT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!” he yells at me. I close my eyes and let the tears flow down my face, how can I tell him? I am not good enough for any of them. “I...i..” I mumbled.

They all left after the doctor kicked them out for them to get some sleep. I worried them again. Is it all my fault my mom cried? Am I as bad as him? Am I becoming him. My heart raced in a painful pace of banging against my chest telling me it hated me.

I am such an idiot for failing. But knowing me I’ll fail once again and make everything worse.

* * *

_They don’t say rising into love. In it the idea of the fall._

* * *

I was cleared from the hospital after a month in the psych ward. I have no intent to return to that chemical filled hellhole. They only kept me for a month because I guess they didn’t see my actions as a threat to myself anymore. Of course it wouldn’t. I will never make them cry again.

Mom and I drove home, to see my relatives and friends all there. Noisy bunch but they’re here for me. While in the ward I focused on being able to walk again and I got almost full feeling in my legs and can use crutches to walk now instead of a wheelchair.

She helped me get out of the car and crutch myself into the house. I smiled around the table were my mom's siblings and grandma, Joe, Cherry, Miya, my sisters, and Langa… “Hi.” he mumbles walking up to me. I smiled. I wasn’t a big talker anymore.

They talked but I was getting tired I retired to my bedroom with Miya and Langa in hand.

“Never do this shit again.” Langa tells me. I nod. “You scared me..” Miya says looking away before pouncing on me while I laid down on my bed. “I’m Sorry.” I tell them. Hugging Miya close reassuring him I’m still here.

Never again will I ever try to die as long as these two are alive. “I gotta get home before it’s dark, I’ll be over tomorrow.” Miya tells me before getting up and walking out of the room. “If you wanna stay over you can..” I mumbled to Langa.

While I was ‘away’ I thought about my feelings about him, way too much. I am in love with this sky blue haired Canadian. “I’ll stay, we gotta catch up anyways.” I nod and smile.

Around 10 everyone else left and it was just Langa, my sisters and my mom left. “Let's go somewhere.” I tell him. “Sure.” he turns around and squats down, “hop on it’d be easier on you” I blushed and did so climb onto his back. 

His back was warm and as I told him he can pick where we go, I nod off nuzzled into the back of his neck.

“We are here.” Langa announces putting me down as a stirr awake. I look around and we’re on the rocks of S. “I haven’t been here since..” The flashbacks of the race against ADAM plagued my mind and I shook. Langa pulled me into his arms whispering softly in my ear and my heart began to return to grand central.

“So let's talk.” Langa tells me; handing me a coke. “What you want to know?” I ask. “Why’d you do it.” I sighed. “It might sound selfish but I realized it would be better off without me, you are so much better than what I can teach you especially now I can’t even fucking skate…” I began to tear up, “My mom looks at me sometimes with fear in her eyes and I thought for everyone else sake I’d up and disappear. I would do anything for my mom even going back to my dad-” I slammed my mouth shut. I didn’t mean to say that part.

I was pulled into a hug. “Reks I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.” Langa then, gently cupped my face, rubbing my tears away with his fingers. I blushed brightly. “My dad died 2 years ago, and I quit snowboarding but you brought the light back into the world for me Reks.” He tells me, smiling down to my snotty face. “I love you!” I Screamed out. Realizing what I said I blush and try to hide into my hoodie. “I love you too Reks!” Langa says, “nono I love love you, like wanna get married and live in a house together in the future type love.” I mumbled out. “Oh then I want that too.” Langa says quietly. “What now-?” I asked. 

The hands that were cupping my face are now leading my chin to face him, I blushed as he put his lips on mine. Is this happening? I kissed back, then he backed away. “You’re real right this isn’t just a tame wet dream or something?” I asked him. He snickers, butterfly kissing my face, “I think I’m real.” he mumbles against my skin. I blushed.

“When Joe found you that night I was petrified, I shoulda visited when you were in the hospital the first time but I was so scared you’d end up like my dad and die so I was a coward that hurt you.” Langa says to me, tearful eyes. “And before you say anything like you’re fine, you are obviously not. When they gave us the letter, I saw the English writing knowing it was for me. I failed you as a best friend, I was so obsessed with beating ADAM to get back at him for hurting you that I didn’t realize I was hurting you!” He rants. I smiled pulling myself into his chest laying there listening to his heartbeat as he ran. I've already forgave him, because I never could be mad at Langa. 

“It’s okay my snowflake.” I pulled out of his chest and Kunik kissed him. Inhaling his smell of fresh pine leaves and lemons. I rested back into his chest and we talked and cried together.

“My dad wasn't a good person.” I tell him as I lift the shirt I had on above my head. An audible gasp comes out of Langa’s. “Wha.. Oh.. My.. Gosh..Wha-” I pulled my shirt down embarrassed by him seeing it. “If you don’t wanna be with me because I’m ugly it’s okay.” I turned around and gave him a weak smile. “Reks you’re beautiful, your back may be heavily scarred but you still are hot and nobody can stop me from loving you.” I smiled and cried. 

We sat there until I fell asleep and Langa carried me home. I opened my eyes again to us cuddling in my bed and I was happy. 

* * *

_Things begun to fall into place as they say_

* * *

Life is tough, some days it's hard but now six months into dating Langa, I began skating again with the help of Miya and Langa. My body can support itself again, but doesn’t mean I don't need a hand to hold. It will be a while until I can race but Mister Japan and Mister Snow race anyways and I can always watch them.

Langa is always there when I need him, we turned my room into a guest bedroom and moved my room to a side part of the shed where I work with Langa on boards. Usually it’s me working and him sketching on my bed but it feels so perfect.

I am full time back at school and full time working again. Life is returning to normal, Langa reminds me to take my meds everyday and montiers when I eat to make sure I feed myself. Him and his mom moved into our house too, two single moms it’s hard to raise children and especially if one of them is always at the other's house. So Langa’s mom is helping mom out with the girls and Langa makes sure I’m staying healthy and good. I do have bad days..

Days in which he has to stretch my legs for me and he has to get me dressed because my depression is so bad. But he never is grossed out by me, even when we are intimate he never once says I’m ugly. He calls me beautiful and it makes my heart flutter. Growing up I wasn’t beautiful. I was known as a street rat by my father and then I felt like a burden to my beautiful mother. I had no self worth until he came along. Then followed by Miya. 

Miya got me and Langa a kitten for Langa’s moving day. Miya has a key to the door to the shed if he ever wants to hang out with us. Langa also lives in the shed but on the other side in a separate room, my beds in the middle of the shed near my work stuff, and a tv on the wall where we game aggressively.

I laugh at them when they’re over both so competitive in nature. Miya is not that self doubting boy we met, instead he’s grown into an amazing cool boy who loves what he’s doing and loves spending time with us. 

The day we got the letter and an invite to Cherry Blossom and Joe’s wedding we were shocked. None of us knew they were dating, we knew there was sexual tension but never dating! Turns out they’ve been dating since high school, that means when I used to skate over to the high school and watch them bicker they were actually dating.

The wedding was at S, it was private only close friends were there, Joe was bawling his eyes, I was too. Langa was trying to get me to stop crying but I couldn't. They were so perfect for eachother and now they're MARRIED!

When it was time for Langa and I to go to university I chose to not go, and go into trade, wood working to be exact and now at 21 years old, I have a list of people wanting custom boards from me after they saw Miya aka TEAM JAPAN!!!! Have one of my boards. I became the legendary board builder they called Sunray. 

I got the name because when Miya told people where to find me he told them “Find the red haired boy whose smile is as bright as Sun Rays.” And it stuck, Langa and I are still together, he is at university but he also skates still, he didn’t leave far for university staying local and now Miya is in highschool it’s easier than it used to be to hang out. 

“Rengas!” Miya yells as he walks into Langa and I’s apartment. “Yes?” I asked him as I fed the two cats and dog. He refers to both of us as Renga. I think it’s funny, so does Langa. “It’s funny seeing the hyperactive Reki so domestic.” Miya tells me and I blush. “Hey I have to cause you know Langa wouldn’t.” I snicker. “You're talking about me?” Langa comes out of our bedroom with laundry. “Ya and put it down we all know what happened last time you tried to do laundry.” I scold him. His dumbass fell in, and then somehow he claims the cats did it but the cats love him, closed him into the washing machine in which I came home from the skate shop to see my boyfriend hopefully soon husband stuck in the washing machine. “THAT WAS ONE TIME!” he yells huffing.

August 8th was the day Langa proposed, also my 22nd birthday. We were at S, now we’ve grown up our personas are definitely there. I don’t race against anyone except for Langa, Miya, Cherry or Joe. It's fun to skate only against friends and I know I wouldn’t pull a Reki and break my back again.

I gotta say Langa in his skating persona outfit is hot. He wears wide legged pants with snowflakes on them and a mesh top with snowflakes, showing off his back tattoo of the sun with snow falling. He got it for our one year. My persona includes my normal yellow hoodie but instead it’s sleeveless and wearing short shorts, in which Langa loves. But it’s always hot here, and sometimes I like to say I’m cold for Langa to give me his jacket. 

The proposal was scary at first, Langa was skating against a racer who has been skating as long as I have. Then it stops around the corner and the camera nearest to me flashes and then it appears to be Langa laying on the ground.

My heart sunk and I grabbed my board riding to him, with panic spewing from my body I jumped off my board. “LANGA!” I screamed full of panic, the other racer was nowhere around. I run up to him to see he’s sitting up.

“OH MY GOD THANK GOD YOU’RE OKAY” I cried out until I saw he was getting something out of his pocket. “Reki Kyan my sunshine, will you marry me?” he asks as he pulls a ring out. I gasped nodding as he put the ring on my finger. Hitting him the chest “we promised when we were 17 that you wouldn’t be reckless!” I screamed at him. He rubs the back of his head muttering a good old fashioned “oops”. I jump into his arms and kiss him. Turns out it was all planned and everyone here knew except me.

It was an amazing yet terrifying surprise, but that’s the definition of love. Scary but so wonderful that it’s addicting. Especially to love Langa.

We got married, at the skatepark Langa took me the day I got home all those years ago. It was small only our moms, my sisters, Cherry and Joe and their two new babies, and Miya were there. It was peaceful and amazing. Langa was my saving grace, without him I wouldn’t be here now or ever.

The last five years were magical, no story is complete without a happy ending and I found my knight in shining armor in the form of a snowflake.

There are a lot of things in life that fall, snow falls, people fall, objects fall, people fall into love. The word fall has so possible endings. For I have in the end fallen many times and the most amazing fall was falling in love.

**Author's Note:**

> The Basic Idea was given to me by a lovely reader of mine Wildtiger.  
> 01/31/2021  
> "Haha, so maybe do one that might touch base with Reki and his family struggling financially? Cuz I think an angst fanfic about that would be cool.  
> Or one where he was abused by his dad and that's why he's not in the picture, but I understand if you'd want to wait for the anime to develop a bit more before doing anything to do with that.  
> Another one that might be cool, is Reki hurting himself worse than shown in his race with Shadow? Or continue from the last episode that was aired last night?"  
> I Hope you all enjoy with the reminder, if you make any art or want to talk to me my discord is erin#7872 and twitter is the same @ as this.


End file.
